


Forgetting

by indigo_carter



Series: Supernatural Hurt/Comfort [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eating Disorder, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Smut, Recovery, Smut, celebration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:39:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4027153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_carter/pseuds/indigo_carter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: so i have a request, in honor of my second anniversary of being clean from an eating disorder, if you could do a fem reader with Dean, Sam, or Cas (I’m not particular), and they’re celebrating her recovery and victory over bulimia and then it becomes really sweet, fluffy smut? I love love love your writing and I really hope you write this one! thank you!!</p><p>Character: Cas</p><p>Author: Frankie (spnsmutscribe)</p><p>Reader Gender: Female</p><p>Word Count: 1825</p><p>Warnings: Mention of disordered eating.</p><p>A/N: Ok, this one was personal to write, even though it was a request. This is largely based on my own experiences of struggling with and recovering from depression, EDNOS and other mental health issues. I really hope I did it justice, as it was kinda cathartic to write. Also the fluff was so easy. The smut was not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgetting

You’d consciously not marked the date in your mind for fear that recognising it would make sustaining your recovery impossible, but as it drew nearer you couldn’t help but feel a sense of elation rush over you. _Two years, Y/N. Two whole years._ It was a state of being you’d never thought possible during your very worst days, when the urges were too strong to overcome and you found yourself, your body and your mind at loggerheads multiple times each day. _Two years clean._ As the days flicked past, pride and excitement and frenzied joy filled your veins, your blood humming, leaving you unable to sit still. The boys found it incredibly distracting – you were constantly popping in and out of rooms, unable to settle to do research, not focussed enough to train – but your happiness was catching, and eventually Dean asked the question they were all bursting to ask.

“What’s got you all hyper?” The four of you were lounging half-watching a film, and, sitting up straight, you paused the movie. Taking a deep breath, you felt your gaze dropping to the floor and fought it back up to meet the curious eyes of the boys looking at you.

“It’s my two-year anniversary.” Three crinkled brows and three pairs of confused eyes looked back at you. “I’ve been clean of bulimia for two years to the day.”

“ _Oh my god, Y/N._ ” It was an exhilarated exhalation more than anything, and you found yourself buried under two massive bodies in an odd sort of bear hug.

“You’ve done so well!” Sam pressed a kiss to your temple and gave you one last squeeze before shifting away slightly.

“So fucking brave.” It was a whisper, and you knew full well that Dean understood how hard it was to fight the demons in your head. After all, he was fighting them too. “I’m so fucking proud of you.” He also gave you a final squeeze and moved away, revealing Cas standing in front of you, perplexed but proud.

“Well done, Y/N.” The words were sparse, but warmly said, and tingles ran through you. He moved closer and bent down to rest his forehead against yours, his hands resting on your shoulder. “I understand that it is difficult to save you from yourself, but you _have_ done it.”

“Thanks, Cas.” You whispered it, but his eyes crinkled in a smile and he sank onto the sofa beside you, one arm sliding around your shoulder. You pressed play again and everyone’s attention focussed back on the screen, albeit with an air of celebration. Warmth radiated through you from every point where Cas’s body touched yours, until you were almost too hot to breathe, tingles shooting through you every time he shifted and changed the way he fit in the space next to you, and you had to constantly remind yourself not to hold your breath.

Sam and Dean didn’t help the situation, plying you with some kind of sparkling wine discovered in a dusty corner of the bunker, and playing games which involved chucking popcorn over you and Cas as you tried to shelter from the barrage by burying in his side.

Eventually, the two of them retired to bed, leaving you and Cas to deal with the tingling tension in the room. He wrapped his arm more tightly around you as Dean quietly closed the door behind him, and you twisted to rest your feet in his lap.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N.” His voice was pitched low, his fingers tracing patterns over the bare skin of your arm. You blushed and ducked your head, resting your cheek on his shoulder.

“Thank you.” His fingers ran through your hair, stroking down your neck and over your shoulder.

“I always knew you were strong, but I didn’t know just how brave you are.” The pads of his fingertips traced down your arm and gathered your hand into his. “I’ve learned so much about humans since I came to Earth, Y/N, but every day I’m with you I learn even more.” His tone was sweet and sincere, and you found yourself melting into him as his tangled his fingers with yours.

“I-”

“I think it’s my prerogative to compliment you, Y/N. You’re brave and selfless, and you’ve been doing everything you can for humanity while fighting for yourself. It’s nothing less than admirable.”

“Cas…”

“And I’ve greatly admired you since we met.” The blush returned with a vengeance. He sounded so…Jane Austen that you felt dizzy. “In fact…Y/N…” You knew what was coming next, and you twisted your hand free and pressed your fingers to his lips, your eyes locking on his.

“Please don’t.”

“I don’t…” It came out muffled, his eyes speaking to his confusion.

“People lie, Cas. People say things they don’t mean. And it hurts.” His fingers wrapped around yours and pulled your hand away from his mouth.

“I would never lie to you, Y/N.” You heaved a sigh and rested your head back on his shoulder.

“I know, but it’s hard to unlearn a lifetime’s lessons, Cas.”

“Then let me prove it to you?” Your eyes widened and you sucked in a breath. “Please?”

“Yes, Cas.” He lifted your head from his shoulder and looked deeply into your eyes before his gaze drifted to your lips. Anxiously wetting your lips, you tensed under his scrutiny.

“Relax, Y/N.” You took a breath, and then his lips were on yours. Your mouths moved together gently, exploring the rhythms of inhalation and exhalation and the ways he moved his mouth which made you gasp. His hands slid over your arms, settling on your waist and tightening his hold, lightning flashes of pleasure shooting through you.

“C-Cas…” You let out a moan as his lips slid over your jaw and landed on your pulse. Hot thrills shot straight to your core as he sucked a mark to the base of your throat, and he let out a groan as you wriggled closer to him.

“I need you, Y/N. I need to show you…everything.” He murmured against your throat, his lips slanting up to meet your again as you nodded eagerly. Not breaking contact with your mouth, he wrapped his arms around you and transported you to your room, putting you down gently on the bed and standing before you. You stood, enjoying the fact that he had long-since shed his trench coat and jacket, and tucked your finger into his tie, pulling the knot down until it came loose and slid off. Stretching onto your toes, you pressed your lips to his, your fingers attempting to navigate his shirt buttons until you had to break away with an irritated groan.

“What did you do to those buttons, Cas? Superglue them?” He grinned at you, cheeks dimpling and eyes crinkling.

“I can make this easier, Y/N.” He clicked his fingers and you found yourself in your underwear facing his naked chest. Your eyes slid up and down, enjoying the muscles planes of his body and the impressive tent developing in his boxers. You took an admiring gasp which Cas thoroughly misinterpreted. “Did I go too far? I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“No, no, Cas, this is fine.” You protested, pushing the momentary fear of him seeing your body from your mind. _He wants to be here. He wants you, Y/N. Don’t be silly._ You admonished yourself, and closed the gap between you. “This is more than fine.” Stroking your fingers over his stomach and chest, you reached up on your tiptoes and trailed kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. Grasping his elbows, you towed him back to the bed, plopping down so he stood above you. “Help me celebrate?”

He pushed your shoulders back onto the bed and clicked his fingers again, stripping both you and him of your respective underwear, crawling up the bed after you and settling between your thighs. His eyes lingered on you, trailing from your face to your chest to the juncture between your legs.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N. You’re perfect.” The blush rose in your cheeks again, and he rubbed a fingertip over the roses in your cheeks. “And you’re even more beautiful when you blush.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Cas.” He dipped over you, his body covering yours as his lips slanted over yours.

His hands wrapped around your waist as he kissed you, and stroked your sides gently as you pressed your core against him, pulling away from him and resting your forehead against his, eyes locked in his intense gaze. He tangled the fingers of one hand in your hair, pulling your lips up to meet his again, his other hand sliding down to cup your hip, pulling your hips up to meet his more firmly. One hand tangled in your hair, his body weight balanced on one elbow and his knees, he explored your body with his mouth and hand, lips and teeth and tongue and fingers leaving burning trails over your skin as his explorations moved lower. He moved to cover your body with his, pulling you up to crush his lips to yours and pushing you until your legs were wrapped around him, his hardness pressed temptingly hard against your core and you shifted against him. He wrapped one arm around you, holding you close against him as he leant towards you on his other arm. You felt the tip of his cock push against your core, and you pressed up into his hips, gasping at the sensation as he slid agonisingly slowly inside you.

He pulled you close to him and began thrusting inside you, his lips brushing yours. You felt the heat pooling in the pit of your stomach embarrassingly quickly, as he hit all the right spots inside you.

“I love you.” He mouthed it against your throat, whispered it against your cheek, murmured it into the shell of your ear.

“I lo-ve – crap – Cas!” The mere sound of him saying the words, combined with his delicious movements had you careening headlong towards the edge of the abyss faster than you’d ever thought possible. A few more thrusts and whispered words of love, and your limbs began to shake as wave after wave of pleasure rolled over you. He worked through your orgasm as your muscles clenched around him and breathy moans filled the room.

“You’re mine, Y/N.” He growled, his pace picking up as he gasped against your shoulder, teeth nipping at your skin. Your fingers dug into his back as his measured thrusts became more erratic. “Mine.” He followed you over the edge, his muscles quivering and trembling as he supported himself over you.

“I’m so yours, Cas.” He pressed another kiss to your sweaty forehead and pulled out, wrapping himself around you.

“And I am so proud of you, you’ve done so well.” Sleep began to overwhelm you, and you curled into his arms.

“Best way to celebrate ever.”


End file.
